conflict of d mind..

something dat i dont have d strength to talk out loud, but keep on torturing my mind

i really hate when people start judging n blaming d others due to their previous mistakes..
i really hate when people cant forgive others..
i really hate when people only looked only at 1 side n stereotyping d others...
i didnt hate d people,(i guess) but d fact that those things happened...
durh..

why keep on blaming dat person?? what if he had already learned from his mistakes n is trying hard himself not to repeat his mistakes ever again.. ape jadik kalau die dah insaf? sedangkan d other person keep on blaming n terus menghukum die sebab satu kesilapan lampau yg die lakukan.. is this what u used to call keadilan?? adil utk si pesalah?? itu yg layak die terime??
what is this??every people make mistakes ok.. nobody is perfect.. die nih dulu banduan, lepas kua jail, alim konon..tu gi bersihkan masjid nak tebang tabung masjid la tu... haish....

is it that hard to forgive d others?? U need to pay 4 it is it huh???
why u must keep dat person feelin guilty by keep on shutting ur mouth n says nothing while dat person x cam berbuih plak mulut..that hard meh to say its ok, im forgiving u..nothing la..its really ok.. is it that hard?? as if theres tonnes of gold in ur mouth huh?nape mesti nak buat die terus rase bersalah.. is it because of ur ego? ur pride is really dat high?? pride-less if u do those things?? x kan..x bermaruah sebab maafkan seseorang?? haha..jgn buat aku gelak la ok..

and why u must do stereotyping as if those people really as bad as d 1 ure camparing with..bapak borek anak rintik is it?? kalau bapak penagih, anak mesti penagih ke??? x kan??? so what is d problem?? rambut panjang je budak jahat, jalan kua kaki ayam je org miskin, kelua ngn kawan je budak lepak,
people are really not d same.. they must have their own reason to do something..even if u ask mat rempit, doing their race for what?? they will say 4 fun...c!! there's still a reason kan.??
unless that person is really stupid and giving d aswer like saje2 or wtv i dont care lah..
not talking bout d wrong act but more into tentang sesetengah org yg selalu melabelkan org lain,pliz la jgn..tolongg arrr JANGAN!!!! durh..

hush..y am i writing this things? coz i really SICK of it..
what goes around comes around kan?
if we keep on blaming others, 1 day people might blame us even for something very3 small things..
if we refuse to forgive others den one day people migh not forgiving u..
if we keep on stereotyping d others, 1 day people might do just d same thing toward us,

astaghfirullahhalazim..

coz we r not perfectkan??..
we re nothing but a servant of Allah ..
insyaallah if we help each other,
khairu ummah can be achieved..
im not writing this to say that im good or anything..
we r just d same..
d servant who always make mistakes..
but its ok if we realize it n hope that we will become a better person for each coming days..
dedicated to me myself too..
coz even d writer is not good enough in handling hatred,
so better change ourself b4 thinking of chnging d others or even d society,
n for those who find those lines can give them something, then its urs..
terserah lah bagai mana kamu nk mentafsir segala isi2nya..
insyaallah...
hope everything gonna be baik2 aje n dlm limpahan barakah yg Esa..
bersihkan lah hati ini ya Allah..
aminn...
fiuh.............
=)


pen off..

tersudut mangu..

pabila dirimu inginkan sesuatu yg berseri cahyanye,
sesuatu yg dapat menerangi hidup depanmu disana kelak,
janganlah kau takabur kalau kau rasa kau telahpun menemuinya,
ingatlah bahawa nur itu adalah anugerah,
utk setiap manusia,
disudut hati itu tersimpan ia,
yaitu kiriman dan pemberian dari sang pencipta,
bagi sesiapa yg dikehendakinya,
tetaplah maju dan teruskan perjuangan,
mengejar kebahagian dunia akhiratmu!

Mungkinkah dapat kita cari cahaya itu di dalam kegelapan..
sesungguhnya aku cuba mencarinya..
dan masih terus mencari,
tetapi mengapa hati ini selalu berbolak balik,
jiwa ini sentiasa dihimpit pelbagai rasa..
pabila ingin berubah,
ada shaja yang datang menghalang..
sesungguhnya aku terima ia ,
sebagai dugaan yang tetap akan dihadap,
kerana percayalah,
sungguh janji yg maha Esa itu benar belaka.

bla.

feel so miserable !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hati sakit,
phone rosak, 2nd time dlm setengah tahun,(cam nak hempuk je dgn batu lesung sampai lumat tapi saye x buat)

contact2 sume ilang lagi..
kaki terseliuh,...
myself feel like energy-less sgt3,,, pain here n der too...
kalah winning E, 8-2, 7-1, 8-2 ngn dik aku,(cam nak hempas je controller ps2 atas lantai, tapi saye x buat jugak, kadang2 tu ade kot)
lesen x siap lagi....(cam nak baya je so dat leh terus dpt lesen, x yah gi kelas, tapi saye x buat jugak..)
+ starting to cough a lot, n a bit flu too..but i didnt have any contact with any infected person,
ape lagi lerr yg x cukup untuk melengkapkan hari yg x berape nak cemerlang time nih..
saba2..
durh..
gile3 punye teruk until feel like cam nak menjerit..
can i shout out really loud i here..
AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
jerit dlm hati je la...
sound pollution is something that is not accepted anywhere including Msia..
durh...
gonna be ok soon..
amin..

pen off..

my hobby?

this holiday, i really take a full advantage of it..
huhu.. i mean this is d only chance to do what u cant while being in moscow,
things like enjoying d foods n hanging out with friends...
best2..haha..
people asking me what is my hobby..
when i was a child, my answer gonna be reading books, gardening, surfing d net..
but as i grow up, i think they r not..
i do love playing tennis since primary school..
=).all my siblings love it..

.fuad came back beberape hari lepas,,

so yesterday we all out to the court,,
playing this game..
huhu,,
fuad still good as b4 i guess..
haha...



aku tetibe terigt first time blaja main was a bit teruk.. not a bit, a nightmare kot..
in this 8 years i had 4 rackets..huhu.. d first 1 was a gift from my cousin,
d 2nd n 3rd was a wilson, n d latest was a babolat..
i used to be a really hot tampered player(dulu2 la..sekarang x kot..huhu..)
d 2nd racket broken after a game time tu,
but after about 6 months using it,
then came d day when i played so badly i felt like so frustrated n somehow,

i did make some recording bout the stroke petang semalam,,
after thinking about writing my hobby in my blog..
i think d video quality was a bit teruk kot..
sorry kalo x nampak bola tu ..hihi..


fuad with his style.currently in kolej mara seremban doing his A level .haha.. this year, hes d one who going to do selection for his college.. but die x main kot..nak pekse la katekan..


i always wanted to play in russia,,but somehow d court was really limited and gile xpensive cam hape sampai terhlang terus niat nak main kat sane..hihi..
kalau kat jb ni, d academy was just 200 m from my house and we just need to pay about rm 6 for 1 hour,,
in moscow, d sport complex where we all used to play futsal, theres 2 tennis court there..if im not mistaken, the rental was about 1500r per hour(almost rm 150)..thats a really big diff i guess..
=)..
so i think im going to enjoy playing this while ive d time untl d day saye balik ke moscow nnti..
yg boleh bawak bukannye d racket,, tapi....
kenangan main masa cuti..
thats all..
=)

iniler hobi saye ..
i really love it..
=)taken during end form 4..
doa semuge saye happy2 selalu..
btw semalam tido pukul 4.30 pagi..
tetibe best plak denga debate btwn ahmed diddad against a kristian priest..
entittled, ' is bible d words of God' n tonight i want to finbish up d 2nd part entittled 'is jesus a god'.a nice open debate n surely u not gonna regrat watching it..
=)..
salam...

pen off..

saye kua malam tadi dgn .....

semalam, mereka2 dari UIA n UTM ajak kua..
since aku x boleh bawak kerete jua jauh,
terpakse wuron amik aku kat perling mall,,
straight ke taman U n UTm amik inul ngn gabell n jayu..
dis time rambut dah pendek,
so x de lerr segan sgt nak kua ke tempat2 awam,
hehe
besa gak utm,,
haha..time nak balik, sampai x jumpe jalan kua,,
aku punye instruction main taram je, sampai wuron tuan driver sejati pon boleh termasuk against jalan sehala,,
slamat lerr x de kete,,
dlm 3 kali pusing2 tempat yg same,,
jumpe gak jalan kua..
after all,
it was fun yesterday,,
sitting n chatting together,
share d laugh n stories,
telling d jokes n kisah2 silam di sekolah,
=)..
i just cant help myself from being soo happy yesterday..
terime kasih kawan2...
insyaallah dapat chance nnti kite jumpe lagi..
=)..
salam
hehe

gabell n poosat
wuron n rempit
rempit n inul
gabell poosat n wuron lagi...
budak2 x betul bile malam mnjelme..
haha.. ape2 je..

.cam boleh buat cover album je gamba nih.

at least dapat jugak kami pelihara perhubungan ini...
berkekalan ke liang lahat dlm iman...
insyaAllah.
aminn...
=)

dream...

Little by little, I grow tired of the familiar pain,
Stepping on my shoulders so that I fall,
The world tells me not to dream,
I may not dream, or better yet,
I used to have no dreams,
that was the only way I could live,
For if I dream, if I love,
I know it will that much harder,
i too, want to be happy,
Doesn’t matter how much I try to quit,
My eyes keep lingering on it,
Continuing to dream,
is the only thing that i can do..
at least 4 now..

searching for the shooting star

the star shined....
and twinkled in the sky.....
before it started to fade away....

konflik diri jam 6.50 ptg - 11-00mlm...17 july.2009

tadi aku ke surau,
hadiri ceramah sempena israk mikraj,
mmg sengaja program diawalkn 2 hari, pada 25 rejab, hari ni,
umm,pada mulenye, seriously malas GILE nak kua umah,
seriously gile gile gile malas,
alasan, nak hantar ali pergi tusyen,
lepas mandi dan maghrib dirumah, tetibe terase nak pergi plak,
terus aku sarungkan baju melayu teluk belanga colour milky orange tuh,
n ajak mur, sekali, hantar fadzli tusyen cg rahman,and straight ke surau, time tu org baru tgh solat isyak,
mmg program nye bermula selepas solat isyak tu,
so maksudnye aku x terlewat la (terlewat skit kot),,
alhamdulillah,syukur aku atas nikmat hari ini,
setelah bebrape hari aku rase bagaikan kosong hidupku,
tah hape2 yg aku isikan sepanjang cuti ni,
aku pon x tau,
begitu lah Allah tunjukkan hidayah pade siape2 yg dikehendaki,
jika allah sayang pade hambanye,
akan diberikan hambanye tu kefahaman dlm agama,
pernah aku terdenga bait ini,
alhamdulillah,
di saat sewaktu penceramah menutur setiap2 kata2,
terdapat aku lihat pelbagai ragam manusia,
aya yg datang lewat,(contoh saye..=))
ada yg berbual2,
ada yg nak balik cepat,
ade yg rase bosan,
tapi bukan itu yg aku nak utarakan,
ada satu jasad ini,
yg pabile mendengar ceramah ustaz itu,
sebak terasa hingga dapt kubaca pada wajahnye,
tatkala itu, terasa bagai igin merembes keluar air mata ni,
mungkin dia juga sepertiku,
yg sudah lama x berpeluang mendengar ceramah dengan suasana seperti tadi,
aku juga naik sebak,
padahal bbercakap pasal isra' mikraj ,
sesuatu yg hampir tiap2 tahun kite denga,
tapi bebetul ke kite dalami ape yg kite bace dan denga,
bebetul ke kite andaikan keadaan kesedihan nabi ketike sebelum perkara itu,
bebetul ke kite hayati dan cube memahami perkara tersirat dlm mukjizat agung ini,
tu sume persoalan yg tetibe terlintas dlm pale aku td,,
tanye diri semula,
bebetul ke aku boleh terangkan pada saudara baru nnti kalau ada,
bagaimana sebenarnye isra' dan mikraj tu??
haih...malu pada diri sendiri..
kesedaran yg masih kurang,,,
semoga Allah terus berikan hidayah pade diri ini dan saudara2 saye yg lain2 juga,,
jgn di jauhkan dari redha dan lindungan yg maha Esa..
kuharap diri ini jadik insan yg benar2 boleh berfikir , terus memikirkan dan bukan hanye pada lisan... kalau Nabil raja lawak kate lu fikir lah sendiri, maybe saye cakap, kite fikir lerr sesame ye..=)
insyaallah,
amin...

home sweet home..

wah..
terubat rindu bile dapat jumpe ko..
lame kite x jumpe kan..
bukannye x sudi..
just mase je yg mencemburui kite..
ko cam still cool macam dulu..
makin berseri2 wajah..
makin lawa laa..
x tipoo nih..
betol2..
=)..
hihi..

but tu sume yg bermain dlm fikiran aku je,,
bile first jejakkan kaki kat samura..
=)...
woke up early dat day..
sebb bertolak dr JB pagi maa...
sardin drive..
muat 8 orang naik..

mmg macho la MPV sardin..
masuk dorm, jumpe cg2,

(dengan brother apiz,,, warden kami..=) )

(cg noraini panot n KAMI.... hihi..)

jumpe mak long pon=)..
pergi naik ke Melaka pulak, ikutkan je bebudak nih..
=)main bowling n makan katenyer..
hihi..aku fikir,, perlu ke sampai melaka..
haha..tapi 1/2 jam je so cam ok gak la..
alhamdulillah..

skit je lg nak strike,,,durh...=P




tapi lepas semua2 tu,
aku teringat balik ape yg pachy postkan lepas die pergi samura,
n i felt xzly the same cam mane die rase...
(mintak izin kamu yer copy ape yg ko tulis ci..=))

.8.) well....coming back to samura make me realize...bukn tmpt tu yg sye rindu..bukn skolah dan bgunnnye..bukn pdgnye...bukn jatek yg sye rindu....actually, sye cme nak blik kenangan bsama rakan2 dahulu. dormates, classmates, in fact, my whole batch...i miss those little childish fights we used to had..the gossips we used to share..the ghosts we used to be scared of...dan skarang...samura ttp samura...cme warganya suda berubah...n frankly speaking..i felt awkward..i dun feel the sense of belonging anymore...stepping to my old dorm was no different...detached...i miss u guys in school uniforms..i miss mak tem..slalu mrh2 kte dulu..i miss the old times...adeyh...sentimental lak...=)..well time is one of those few things that can't be retrieved back, ever....

aku pon terasa macam tu,,
tapi afterall, life kene diteruskan,
ciptaan allah itu akan sentiasa ada perubahan dengan izinNya,,
aku tetap berharap yg hati nih akan selalu menghargai apa yg aku rasai dan alami dekat sana..
smiles2 dari cg2, bualan dengan mak long dewan makan, even dengan abang yusri pembantu mkmal pon buat aku sangat gembire..
sangat2 gembire..terima kasih abah sebb make me choose this school leps PMR dulu..
kalau ikotkan hati, mmg x nak aku pindah,
"ala bah, skola mane2 pon same, yg nak belajar tu kite, bukan nyer sekolah..."
bile aku fikir2 balik, punye lerr kureng akhlak aku cakap ngn abah time tu..
betol cakap abah tu..
mintak maaf ngn abah dah=)..
starting from there baru aku macam mule mahu mencari siape diri ini sebenarnye,,
kehidupan itu x selalunye indah,
dan macam2 lagi norma2 yg surely x kan dapat klu aku x tinggal di asrama..tolong ya Allah, jadikkan aku hambamu yg bersyukur..
amin....
ok dah, maybe tulis lagi nnti kemudian..
moga hari2 akan datang menjadikkn kite manusia yg lebih baik..
=).
nsihat utk diri saya disini,,
jgn tinggal solat!!!=)..
salam..

pen off...

da nak start??

jadual baru dah keluar..
im in group 12.=)
alhamdulillah,,
cuti hari jumaat dan ahad..
sabtu ada biochemistry pulak..
bole pergi smayang dengan senng hati....
=)...
harap2 semua2nya baik2 aja..
alhamdulillah..
hihi..

seuntai kata untuk di rasa?

Kadang-kala Allah sembunyikan matahari,
Didatangkannya petir dan kilat,
Kita tertanya-tanya,
Kemana hilangnya si matahari,
Tanpa diri sedari,
Allah berikan dunia pelangi...

Kadang-kala Allah sembunyikan hikmah,
Didatangkannya cobaan dan ujian,
Kita tertanya-tanya,
Apakah hikmah disebalik kejadian,
Tanpa diri sedari.
Telahpun Allah limpahkan rahmat dan kesejahteraan..

it's a doa..

Ya Allah aku menyimpan kepadaMU apa yg telah Engkau ajarkn kepadaku . Maka Engkau kembalikanlah kepadaku pada waktu aku memerlukannya dan jgnlah Engkau jadikan aku terlupa kepadanya, wahai Tuhan semesta alam!



terime kasih pada da'ie2 penyebar & penegak al'din itu..semoga sentiasa dirahmati dan dikekalkan dlm iman..

aminn..

ingatan tulus ikhlas tidak lain tidak bukan
utk hati yg paling dekat dengan mulut yg berbicara dan jari yg menaip ini..
dan saudara2ku yg lain jua..